Rereading this past post I sound so arrogant. 'Highly connect to source.' Hmm.Well, there's hesitation now in those words. Yes, I allow source energy to enter my life, usually in a loving manner. But theres a story.

  On that past full moon, I attended a ceremony in Melbourne, Fl. This event had been held at the same place by the same people doing the same rituals at every said event. I am familiar with releasing unwanted desires on full moons and have attended previous full moons celebrations but not at the one I am speaking of. The next morning, I woke with this overwhelming depression. I felt as though I had been depressed for months. This isn't the kind of depression that someone just wakes up with. The feeling was too real. Unfortunately, I know that feeling from experience. I tried all day to shake it and I did. By noon I was feeling out of the deepest part and by late day completely out of the woods. I knew  I wold be fine.

 The past few days at Tracy's I have had the feeling of rage. Not anger, rage. I felt like walking by his sofa and cutting it with a knife and I felt like kicking the dog. This type of feeling I am unfamiliar with. I did go through a few episodes of high pitched anger while settling mom and Bill's estates, I must admit, but nothing like this feeling. Only this time I am not trying desperately to shake it. It has been with me for days and did begin to effect my behavior. I may have possibly lost a friend. We communicate via email and the once a year phone call I initiate. I told him via email that he was making poor choices and that I no longer choose to be his friend.

 Remember that phrase, 'Highly connect to source.'

 There's something going on. 

 The full moon was for release. I choose my addictions of food, alcohol, and cigarettes. I set my intentions upon the stick that we prepared. I followed the ceremony and participated. Now I am wondering if God didn't have other traits in addition for me to release. Depression I understand as I have had direct experience but the rage feeling that I experience was way beyond any feeling I ever care to have. The feeling of hate, anger, destruction all combined. It was a very scary experience. Not the person I want to be.

 But there has to be a point for me to expereince both of these emotions. Follow in faith.