The past couple days I've been hiking around Torreya State Park here in Florida. One area has special appeal to me. I pick up that Indians used a specific area, I'm not sure for what. Possibly ceremonial for ancestral contact. It was on a little hill, above a marshy area with trees growing in it that the energy was subtle. The first time I noticed it I felt as if someone were watching me, protective of the area. They seemed to watch over the marshy area with regard. I tried to communicate with the spirit but he/she didn't want to communicate with me. This occurred yesterday when I approached the area from the east. Today, on another hike, I approached the same area from the west, assuming yet not knowing that I was very near the same area from yesterday..

 Today I noticed a very tall hill, this is Florida, where there seemed to be an Indian standing watch as the Apalachicola river was withing sight. I hiked to the top of the hill to see what I could intuit. I believe that they used this hill to watch for people coming and going on the river, possibly climbing the trees to get a better vantage point.  I also felt 2 young girls playing at the base of the trees. Young as in 5ish. Their version of play was not something I am familiar with as it felt subtle, quiet. Again I tried to communicate but again I felt as if they didn't trust me.

 Also, I have decided that I am going to manifest a kayak. Every time I am around water I feel the need to be on it. I have wanted a kayak for some time, just never fulfilling my desire. I could see my trip changing to accommodate using the kayak often as I have such a draw to water. A couple at the campground has kayaks and as I struck up a conversation with her she told me to me keep tabs on a national chain as they occasionally have 50% off coupons online.

 Finally, I have also had a draw to Mobile Bay, just below Mobile, AL.  I have been trying to manifest a place to couchsurf. One profile seemed to be a perfect match but he declined my request, stating he was busy. I know otherwise. He's not comfortable with my lifestyle. Another profile I contacted didn't resonate with me but I thought that I may get a lead out of contacting him. Well, my skills were off. This guy is great. Musician, sailor, down to earth on right on the bay. He is stuck on something in his life that is holding him back is my impression so I will be curious to find out if I am 'on' with this. Hopefully he will allow me to come tomorrow. He stated that I could stay a day, a week, or longer. People are amazing if you give them a chance.

 The fog didn’t lift until around noon today. I was up by 530 as I fell asleep early. Full moons always make me tired. I went outside several times to view the morning stillness. It was if everything was frozen in time. Not a sound, only the beauty of feeling as though I am the only person to experience this miracle. By 930 I was out the door and off to wherever. I turned left out of the camping area, destination unknown. The road turned to a packed sand trail only for 2 tire’s and complete with several mud puddles to add to the other worldly feeling. The forest engulfed me with its tall pencil pines and leafy scrub underneath decorated like a Christmas tree with cobwebs shaped like balloons. The stillness through the fog persisted for another 2 hours while I walked around making virtually the only noise with the click of my camera. The deafening sound of silence held me in its power, waiting an hour for any sound to cross my ears. I think I could have heard a butterfly swoop by.

 I prayed and meditated, feeling at peace as the foggy stillness can bring me. After some time, I read a little and then decided to drive on. The road continued to tell its story while it lead me in a circle, back to camp where there are only 6 sites and one for the host. I was going to take another drive after lunch but to my glorious surprise, the neighbors in front of me left only a smoldering fire as my view is now unobstructed. The noise of flies and bees that make their home in the sand stay in tune with the wind blowing some leaves off the trees. Sunlight brings another form of peace yet energizes me. The mystery of unknown disappears in the brightness, bringing the conscious mind to the forefront.

 The host is a gentleman that states he is 70. He and his girlfriend stay in his RV next to the only water supply. A gracious fellow with white hair and activity level of a 30 year old. I have learned that everyone has a message to give so I listen to his stories. The first was about the one job he ever had in his life, always being self employed the rest of the time. The boss would chastise him in front of the other employees. He would walk into his boss’s office and ask him politely not to treat him that way, rather confront him in the office. The boss apologized, giving him a 50 cent raise. Well, as boss’s go, he did it again. And again he went into the office requesting that if words need to be spoken to call him into the office. Another 50 cent raise ensued. He stated that if it happens again, he would quit. Not another couple weeks later, he resigned. The other story was about this movie that he saw. The main character was a man who was decent looking but always thought that he should get the prettiest woman. The man didn’t look at what was inside these woman, only thier looks. Through the movie he learned of his previous poor choices and began to see the beauty of the person within. My host applied this to his life and now has a very compatible companion.

 I'm couchsurfing in Newberry, Fl and my host is a workaholic so there's no time for hanging out. I do some local exploring and Friday evening I google full moon and what do I find but a music camping event for the weekend. I'm off! Saturday morning I am up early and pull out by 10, not stopping to stock up on supplies, just chasing after the music.  Rural norther Florida is gorgeous with many farms and spring abounds. I arrive by 11, park to walk around and find a spot as there is no assigned camping, first come first serve. I find this spot that seems nice. I make a few comments to a woman next to where I'll be camping , no impressions, just conversation. I tell her that I am going to camp near her. When I arrive I request her assistance for a few moments to chock my wheels. In the few minutes speaking she starts ripping off these one line mantras that I have used for years. Thought creates. Thoughts are things. You create your reality, etc. We connected immediately. She is a cabinet maker with her own business. No, she isn't gay. Her life and interests read like....mine. She has a love for nature, has a small farm and is psychic. Very psychic, very gifted. I have had hawks for a totem for a while now. They seem to appear everywhere for me, and I love them. Well, she is a falconer. Something I never knew existed but will definitely pursue when I commit to a location. She also has an aquarium with turtles. We both dislike snakes. The list goes on and on of the similarities. It was eerie.

 I had been praying for a teacher. A male teacher to show me the way of these new experiences, as there seem to be new impressions about every other day. That night I had someone touch my face repeatedly while I slept. I kept saying, 'Leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep.' Maybe I should have gotten up to see what it was about but sometimes the sleeping mind isn't the most coherent. Maybe it was better to be in charge, I don't know. I don't want to loose impressions or lessons so next time I will get up. If I remember. I digress. I was confident that she was the person to guide me, teach me. I learned so much in that 24 hour period. It's easier to see spirit in the mist or fog. Protect myself. Believe. She reiterated much of the knowledge that I had inherently. Spirit (God) is in everything. We are all made up of cells. Everything is made of cells. We are all related. We are all one. It is difficult to grasp as I have known this for years but as I become more psychic, the closer I feel to everything. I am especially careful of my thoughts as they go out into the universe and create. Sometimes immediately. That is why it is very important to never get angry. Ever. First, there is no need. Second, thoughts create so that anger creates. Scary to realize the boomerang of thoughts as they DO come back to us. So, as of this writing, I haven't heard from my 24 hour psychic friend. I know that she is with me, sending me thoughts, and that for reasons that are only known to her, she hasn't contacted me. I also know that I cannot put any meaning into that. I have to just allow it to be what it is, without judgment. Something that isn't always the easiest for me, something that I am more aware of being in control of.

 

 I'm still sorta in shock that all of the hap hazard events that led up to me meeting her weren't really hap hazard. I KNOW that Spirit guides me and gives me what I want and need yet for some reason this just seems to big to comprehend. But, in the future I do know that whatever events or people come into my life, no mater if it is a street sweeper or a president of a company, their presence in my life is more than just hap hazard. And for that, I am grateful.

 Another first.
 So I'm driving down the road. I have left Tribly and headed to Newberry, Fl. I am going to couchsurf with Liz and stay in my trailer in her yard. There are lots of natural springs around the area to check out and it is time to start meandering north to go west. I had many signs that it was time. While bike riding a hawk, my totem, was flying with me due north. On another bike ride, a juvenile hawk sat on a mile marker. Both saying, time to go Christopher. Being in nature recharges me. Or balances me. Both. So, I'm driving down the road and I 'm not sure if I am thinking about my sister or her energy comes to me. I was listening to NPR about the tsunami. I was overwrought with the thought of people loosing their families given the recent realization that my sister lost her entire family in one day. I started having heartburn. I never get heartburn. Sis just asked me that when I was visiting her. It got pretty intense. Then I had major anxiety. I was overcome with it. Right in the center of my chest. I was still driving but had to call my sister. Was she ok? Did her sugar go low and she's laying on the floor unable to answer my call? I knew it was intuition but I was so scared. The feeling was incredibly intense. She answered. Thank God. I immediately asked if she were ok, she laughed and said yes. She stated that she was having major difficulties with a work project from a vendors inept program. I was driving so I knew that she was ok and hung up. The anxiety persisted though. I almost couldn't breath! I wasn't scared for me, but pretty out of sorts trying to make my mind comprehend that I was picking up on my sister's energy. That has never happened. Well, not that strong. I called her again when I had a chance to pull over and slightly calm down. Just before that I was looking at the trees or anything and saying, 'oh how pretty, look at that.' Hoping that I could bounce back some calming energy. I asked more details and again confirmed she was upset with work. I told her that she can't do that to me ever again and changed the subject to calm us both down. I don't know who is more in shock, her for knowing that I picked up that energy or myself for it being so strong that I could barely drive. Now I know that when I have that feeling again, it is someone terribly upset and nothing worse.

 I meditated on where to go from here, literally. I wanted Spirit to guide me and tell me. What town was I to go to and do what? I am eager for that information as I feel that is my calling. I swear I could pick something up from a cucumber but I can't ready for myself. Yes I was disappointed. The last time I meditated I saw 3 ghosts. Why can't I tune into Spirit for myself? I have no answer, at this time. But, I did get my answer, just not how I expected. Which means that another step was learned in this process of becoming more psychic, more in tune with Spirit.

 My answer came from, are you ready for this, a person! I was aghast. What I had been praying/meditating for was presented to me from my current host's friend,  John. He told me about several state parks here in Florida that were a must see. As he was telling me the details, I listened to that voice within that said, this is a message from Spirit. This is what I was looking for. It didn't answer my question completely yet I knew it was the answer. How? I trusted that feeling inside of me. To be more in touch with yourself, the God within, you must listen to that voice. Period. You must learn to hear it, trust it, and believe. Call it intuition, a hunch, a knowing. That is what you are looking for to be in direct communication with the God within, or Spirit. It is a step in the process not just of becoming psychic. It is a step that will open innumerable doors to the life that was intended for us.

 And don't discount where, or who, the answer comes from.

The Train

 It may be my last time to see the train I thought, so I walked over to watch it go by. This time the huge engines slowed down across from me, as if to say, ‘Jump on Chris, we’re slowing down and heading north for you.” Funny, this time lumbering by, he didn’t squeeze one thousand geese at once to announce his arrival.

 Spirit communicates with me, and you I believe, in numerous ways. Answering our questions, guiding us if we listen to the subtly delivery of the answers we ask. We don’t have to look for the answers, they will come to us after we set our intentions. What it is that I am requesting?

 One way spirit  communicates with us is through itself. For me I would define that as being psychic although everyone is psychic. We all have the ability to be in tune with ourselves and others. The energy is there for anyone to see or read. I believe that you have to be in touch with your own personal spirit in order to be awake enough to recognize when you are receiving a sign.      Spirit also communicates through nature and animals. I see hawks around me practically wherever I go. Their behavior I  study, read, and interpret to apply to myself to learn from. People, I have learned, are also Spirits means to deliver or answer questions.

 Whatever charges the soul, and is pursued, opens yourself to………………the infinite possibilities
of spirit.

Loss

 I knew that I didn't have any family left, except for my one sister. I have accepted this fact with ease. Nor have I focused on the loss of interaction with the remaining immediate living family. In a highly controversial statement, without the reader knowing the details, I am content with these facts, happy in that I don't have the fear of my deceased sisters family in my life. I know that when I do settle down, I will create my own family. One that I will have manifested on all the levels that healthy families function on. Love, respect, communication.

 When my other sister passed, the connection to her family quickly faded. Funny, I never had an interest in her husband as I knew he was not the kind of man to be honorable. Unfortunately, one of his son's also has no interest in maintaining a connection due to his fathers beliefs, not his own, as he doesn't know what his own beliefs are.

  I never reflect upon how my one living sister has had to deal with this loss. I am sad for her as in one day she lost her entire family except for me, due to what appears to be the inevitable break up of a family caused by the greed of others when someone dies. In her case it was more than greed. Money, things, were important, not basic human respect for another person. Yet,  her need to reach out, to forgive and move on is more than honorable. I am proud.

 While camping this past summer, I met a new friend. He had the energy of a person that was real. He had no ulterior motives, no negativity coming from him. The friendship was an easy experience. I visited him and he reciprocated. We got along as old friends do, allowing each the courtesy of self without any stipulations or judgment upon the friendship. We shared many interests with Thought Creates being one of them. At the time, I didn't consider myself psychic, which I now do. I am extremely grateful for the gift. I did not call to tell him that I was psychic although he has access to this blog. Just recently he came out to me as being psychic. He doesn't pursue it with the fervor that I do, nor does he even practice much, if at all,  yet he is an extremely gifted psychic. (Bitch!....kidding. its not a competition thing, just a personal joke.) I find it fascinating that Spirit brought us together to be there for one another. Goes to show you that you never know what is going to happen next, who is going to come into your life or why.

 Another week has gone by since I have written. So much happens to me lately. I hope to focus on writing more as I have been given several readings that state I am to do so, and to deny that seems a sin. As a point of reference, I view a sin as an archery term which means to miss the mark.

 Through fate, I had the chance to be in a home where a murder occurred approximately  26 years ago. I met the owner of the home through friend's of a friend. I don't own a television but have had the opportunity to see programs where psychic teenagers go to a location to determine what they can pick up. Watching these shows, I knew that I can do that and have wanted the chance to see if I could. As a note, my desire/intention and the amount of time for the opportunity to manifest itself was less than 30 days.

 I guess that it wouldn't be appropriate to give the details here, although I will touch on the strongest sensations. The house has been completely remodeled. Upon first entering the home, I felt nothing. My ego sank. This is not about ego yet being human, I can't deny those feelings. I try to give thanks for my gift as I am extremely grateful for it. The next room I entered I couldn't breath. My chest was tight and the sensation was immediate. The owner stated that there was a fire in the house and originated in that room. Upon entering one of the bedrooms I knew that the murder occurred in that room by means of stabbing. In the hall I was drawn to a specific area that took me a while to determine its meaning, which turned out to be sacred ground. This is where the victim died. In another room, I sensed a piece of artwork hung on the hall that the victim loved in some regard. The assailant's reason for committing the crime was unrequited love. I picked up many details that were later confirmed by the owner of the home. There were also many other details that I did not pick up.

 In another freinds home I picked up an entity, only because the owner felt 'something'  and I wanted to see what I could pick up. The energy was low but I did pick it up. After visiting the area where the energy was several times, I felt a strong burning in my throat, not that of heartburn. I determined it to be throat cancer and asked the owner if she knew of anyone having died of this. She stated that her grandfather, whom she adored, had passed of this.Hopefully this is him keeping an eye on her.

 It seems that if I go about my life without focusing on anything, I don't pick anything up. But with the slightest attempt, I have a knowing and sense's.

 Rereading this past post I sound so arrogant. 'Highly connect to source.' Hmm.Well, there's hesitation now in those words. Yes, I allow source energy to enter my life, usually in a loving manner. But theres a story.

  On that past full moon, I attended a ceremony in Melbourne, Fl. This event had been held at the same place by the same people doing the same rituals at every said event. I am familiar with releasing unwanted desires on full moons and have attended previous full moons celebrations but not at the one I am speaking of. The next morning, I woke with this overwhelming depression. I felt as though I had been depressed for months. This isn't the kind of depression that someone just wakes up with. The feeling was too real. Unfortunately, I know that feeling from experience. I tried all day to shake it and I did. By noon I was feeling out of the deepest part and by late day completely out of the woods. I knew  I wold be fine.

 The past few days at Tracy's I have had the feeling of rage. Not anger, rage. I felt like walking by his sofa and cutting it with a knife and I felt like kicking the dog. This type of feeling I am unfamiliar with. I did go through a few episodes of high pitched anger while settling mom and Bill's estates, I must admit, but nothing like this feeling. Only this time I am not trying desperately to shake it. It has been with me for days and did begin to effect my behavior. I may have possibly lost a friend. We communicate via email and the once a year phone call I initiate. I told him via email that he was making poor choices and that I no longer choose to be his friend.

 Remember that phrase, 'Highly connect to source.'

 There's something going on. 

 The full moon was for release. I choose my addictions of food, alcohol, and cigarettes. I set my intentions upon the stick that we prepared. I followed the ceremony and participated. Now I am wondering if God didn't have other traits in addition for me to release. Depression I understand as I have had direct experience but the rage feeling that I experience was way beyond any feeling I ever care to have. The feeling of hate, anger, destruction all combined. It was a very scary experience. Not the person I want to be.

 But there has to be a point for me to expereince both of these emotions. Follow in faith.