The past few weeks have been a huge eye opener for me on many, many levels. A friend of mine said that this experience of vagabonding would be a type of soul searching. I have learned that is an understatement. First and foremost, I realize that this is MY life. I am no longer responsible for another person and all their needs. I am no longer responsible for a home and all its needs. I am done settling estates, always fulfilling what has to be accomplished. It is my time, for myself, about myself. (Funny, that wasn't my intent when I started this journey. I just wanted to travel.) Sounds like a simple concept to grasp right? To a degree it is. Here's where the twist comes into play. Now I only have myself to be responsible for, to make happy, fulfilled. Should be easy right? It has been, or should I say was, a difficult transition for me. I have put myself 2nd or 3rd for years and the habit is difficult to change. This is where The Universe (ie. God) jumps in. The past 3 weeks have shown me everything that I don't want in my life, and a few things that I do. I guess The Universe decided to throw me off a cliff, as it were, into the traditional 'learn quick or sink'.
So, I learned quick. I have witness behavior, belief systems, and addictions that would stop someone cold. It forced me to question my own behavior, my current belief systems, and addictions. It was just my birthday and a new year rang in. Isn't that what we're suppose to do at this time? I decided that I must surround myself with people that I want to emulate. People who have similar behaviors, belief systems, and addictions. (There are also good addictions. I want to focus on those.) This is where The Universe jumps in again. Damn if it doesn't know just what I need when I need it. First, meeting Patricia by what every person knows- there is no coincidence-coincidence. Meeting her in a rest area then becoming fast and furious friends, with our own unique belief systems that match! What are the odds? A gazillion to one. The Universe. We share where we came from, spiritual beliefs, eating belief/habits, love of dance, open communication and so many other life essentials that make this life worth living. We help each other with intentions and without. I feel so blessed to have met her.
I want to make clear that the experience that I've had for these past few weeks I wouldn't trade for anything. The Universe allowed me to view life in a manner that will keep me focused on my wants, needs, and goals. Yes Virginia, vagabonds have goals. Now, I did have some fun in there too. Spending time on my friends farm was really great. I loved the farm fresh eggs, feeding the cows and horses while the dogs danced in circles around us. It makes me consider farming as a hobby, maybe someday. I got to see friends I hadn't seen in years and possibly make new ones. I got to dance, and I do love to dance. All in all I consider it a positive experience, albeit one I don't care to repeat. I think The Universe knows exactly what it is doing. Guiding me ever so not gently in a direction more conducive for me, as I believe that The Universe knows me and my needs better than I do myself. And this part- making life about what I want-is really fun! I really enjoy it!
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