Solo

 Well, its been an interesting few days. The blue skies have crept into my consciousness creating gray, discomfort within myself, a lack of interest to continue. I've hit a wall. Sometimes I can pass through it easily, today I think I made myself sick. I almost crawled back in the trailer and just slept. My version of closing down. I've lost the point of this journey. Seeing these amazing places is wonderful, I must admit, but the......passion, the thrill, the excitement is gone. 5 months and a few days have come succumb into a slow motion crash. I've lost the point of this journey. It's not to say that I haven't learned a tremendous amount about myself that was previously obscured. I know what I want. I'm ready to start my life. Now.

 I emailed a friend for words to help me get through this and he was great in his response. I'm very lucky to have a friend like that. But continuing would be.....pointless. What would be the point? What would it prove? I know, I've come this far, may as well continue. I'd just be going through the motions though. I think a better approach would be to settle down and pursue a valuable life that I realize I need: Community, friends, those connections that I long for. I've learned friends are the most important facet of life, after health. Culture, music, art, and the ability to interact with them. Finally, a career. (whatever that is...) Then I could travel, as I've always dreamed of, for a month or two and have a base, a home, a community to come home to. This disconnect is....has prioritized my version of what I want my life to be. And I want to start it Now.