Exponentially

So, I don't know what is going on. I knew that I had to leave the Grand Canyon area and head east as I have decided that this trip is over. The loneliness is overwhelming. YEARS of this feeling in Wellsboro combined with 6 months experiencing amazingness solo- sucks. I no longer want to go through life alone. I have amazing friends that I need to reach out to more often. And I have been doing that, but it doesn't fill the need. Having someone to share this with, regardless of the intimacy level, right next to me would change how I function/process quite a bit. The function level in the fun finder would be a challenge but the process level would be enhanced exponentially.

 The lessons have been learned, deeply learned. Engrave into my brain, making sure that the rest of my life is fulfilled by the interests that I deem worthy. If I had to make a list, which i really should, being a Capricorn we love lists, I would be here a while. Safe to say that they're really not new dreams or thoughts, just interests that I have always had yet, for reasons only known to the abyss of my brain, never pursued. Growing up there were always favorite foods/meals that mom would prepare, or Aunt Vonnie's nutbread (unbelievably delicious) yet I don't know how to make all of them. WHY NOT!? This pisses me off. Something that i love and don't know how to make. Ridiculous. Preposterous.

 With the regain of control of this ship,  I hereby do declare that life WILL be fulfilling, interests WILL be pursued, laughter and friends WILL abound, life will be.....lived.

and that I AM worthy.